I have taken out a book called “The Idiots Guide to Buddism” because I have been gaining an interest in more Eastern philosophies and religions. Not that I am about to pack up my bags, trek to the Himalayas, shave my head and spend the rest of my days in deep mediation in a monastery (although how good does that sound?!!)
Why journey on a path of enlightenment? Why go through this “Spiritual Growth”?
Can it even be defined? Is it to find the meaning of life?Is it to find your self?Is it to get rid of the Self itself?Is it to become a better person?Is it to become a greater person?Is it to become enlightened?Is it to become at all?
Maybe, but there is this extract from The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying that can perhaps simply shed some light on our spiritual growth and why is it so hard to keep it nourished and flourishing:
I walk down the street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost.
I am hopeless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I'm in the same place again.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes long time to get out.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in, it's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
I walk down another street.
My interpretation of this, is that instead of trying to ignore or forget our faults, disappointments, tragedies and failures – perhaps we should embrace and face up to them. Embrace them because without them, we would cease to find out just how high we can rise from the ashes.
Buddhism actually teaches that the essence of the unenlightened life IS suffering.
In my times of sadness, regret, pity, anger, heartache I often push myself to move on and be strong about it. But sometimes I don’t want to be this pillar of strength, I just want to grieve, feel the emptiness and sadness wash over me, as if I was lying on a deserted beach and allowing the tide to flow in, to a point where I am eventually drowning in the waves around me. But then with a gasp, I surface and breathe in the light that I couldn’t see in the darkness I was in.
Buddhism actually teaches that the essence of the unenlightened life IS suffering.
In my times of sadness, regret, pity, anger, heartache I often push myself to move on and be strong about it. But sometimes I don’t want to be this pillar of strength, I just want to grieve, feel the emptiness and sadness wash over me, as if I was lying on a deserted beach and allowing the tide to flow in, to a point where I am eventually drowning in the waves around me. But then with a gasp, I surface and breathe in the light that I couldn’t see in the darkness I was in.
You cannot find the Light unless you enter the darkness. There is always light – in life and in the people in your own life.
Some of the worst things and feelings that we experience at some point in our lives:
Being told that someone is better than you. Knowing that you're being lied to. Letting yourself be beat down. Crying hard. Losing someone close. Watching yourself fade away. Falling apart because you're alone. Being alone when you're falling apart. Hating yourself. Not being good enough. Being mad at someone because you're mad at yourself. Best friends falling apart. Being on the sidelines. Breaking up. Falling out of love. Being used. Being made fun of. Changing for someone else.
Whenever we are struck by such hardships in our lives, we tend to focus very inwardly and inflict unnecessary self blame. We ask “Why did this happen to me?” instead of saying “Ok this has happened. Now what lesson can be learnt from it?”
But perhaps we need to go through these trials and heartaches, to fully grow and move on. I found the following quote on a website called
www.boardofwisdom.com and I think it rings so true:Some of the worst things and feelings that we experience at some point in our lives:
Being told that someone is better than you. Knowing that you're being lied to. Letting yourself be beat down. Crying hard. Losing someone close. Watching yourself fade away. Falling apart because you're alone. Being alone when you're falling apart. Hating yourself. Not being good enough. Being mad at someone because you're mad at yourself. Best friends falling apart. Being on the sidelines. Breaking up. Falling out of love. Being used. Being made fun of. Changing for someone else.
Whenever we are struck by such hardships in our lives, we tend to focus very inwardly and inflict unnecessary self blame. We ask “Why did this happen to me?” instead of saying “Ok this has happened. Now what lesson can be learnt from it?”
But perhaps we need to go through these trials and heartaches, to fully grow and move on. I found the following quote on a website called
“Happiness needs sadness. Success needs failure. Benevolence needs evil. Love needs hatred. Victory needs defeat. Pleasure needs pain. You must experience and accept the extremes. Because if the contrast is lost, you lose appreciation; and when you lose appreciation, you lose the value of everything.” - Philippos
Through pain, we heal.
I think to start our own healing process, we need to forgive. Not just each other, but also ourselves.
The dictionary defines the word forgive as: to pardon, as to for-give an enemy; to cease to feel resentment for, as to forgive an offense.
Often times after we have been emotionally, physically or spiritually hurt, the pain quickly turns to anger and resentment. We go over the episodes of the past in our heads, re-living each painful moment again and again like a never-ending nightmare. Each time we do this the old feelings surface and we once again feel the gut-wrenching pain the person caused us. By doing this we are living in the past instead of the present and if we hold on to resentment, along with anger, hate, jealousy and other negative emotions. These will eat you up inside and can cause actual physical ailments and disease if they are not recognized and released.
By forgiving you are taking away the control the other person has over you. You are empowering yourself and growing by spiritual leaps and bounds. You will heal deep-rooted pain that perhaps you thought was gone a long time ago but has survived, living under all of the resentment that you have held onto for so long.
How do we release resentment and offer forgiveness? Try to begin by sending your loving thoughts and forgiveness to that person who has wronged you. Most importantly, you need to forgive yourself first and take responsibility for your own choices and actions towards that person as well. The pain you hold in your heart will slowly pour out, and you will be left feeling better about yourself and the other person.
The next time you think of the act of forgiveness, try not to only see the other person as the only recipient. You are the most important recipient involved, and you are well worth it.
To forgive is a freedom and a gift to others, and yourself. By forgiving, you are one step closer to your journey of self-growth and healing.
To forgive is a freedom and a gift to others, and yourself. By forgiving, you are one step closer to your journey of self-growth and healing.
I am not an expert on healing, and I don’t claim to have all the answers (I wish I did! But then again that would defeat the purpose of my own existence), I am just a little seedling that has been planted in the garden of spiritual enlightenment – I crave and seek the sunshine of love and the water of knowledge.
Peace, Love and Healing
Orangeblossom xxx
Orangeblossom xxx
